Hello my favorite peeps! Oooooooh, how I’ve missed you! Wifi has been sparse since I got out, Grrrrr so I’m late getting this posted…
Soooo… Wow, what an incredible 10 days it’s been… In some ways it feels like the time has flown by, and in other ways it feels like I’ve been through 3 long years of deep, intensive, inner psychoanalysis… And H.O.L.Y S.H.I.T, do I have a lot going on inside this little brain of mine!
I’m not going to give you all the juicy details just yet… Actually, I’m still processing everything that I’ve been through and I’m pretty exhausted… And I’m still trying to figure out how to best present it to you, so, it’s going to take me several days to organize my thoughts and get it down in writing. And, on top of that, I have tons of new friends that I’ve just shared this most amazing experience with, and as you can imagine, after 10 days of not talking to these people, there is much to say now that we’ve broken the silence.
Actually, it’s kind of strange how you can spend 10 days with 80 total strangers, (well, 60 or so after some drop outs along the way) not even knowing their name or nationality, but somehow you have just shared a unique and emotional experience with them that creates a bond that’s hard to explain.
I found it interesting, how, even in the silence, your drawn to certain people and you don’t really know why. Maybe it’s the way they smile at you, or something in their eyes, but you end up gravitating to the same individuals as the days go by. You sit next to them at chai time when you’re having a bad day… Or you find comraderie in fending off the monkey’s as a team… Sometimes you find yourself checking in with them, with the, “you ok?” look as you pass each other on the sidewalk or in the dining hall.
There was this one guy from Ireland who, for some reason, every time we saw each other we’d both start laughing… Eryn, this is awkward, you’re in silence and people are staring at you!! I don’t know who really started it, if he laughed first or me, but that was kind of funny to be laughing at someone you don’t know, and you don’t even know why, but you do it every time you see each other… After it happened the first few times, I’m thinking, is he laughing at me? Or maybe I’m laughing at him? Do I have a monkey poop on my head or something? Why is he laughing at me? This is so annoying, I want to ask him what we’re laughing at!!! Oh what does it matter Eryn, you’re both laughing and that’s a good thing, just go with it…
Oh, and then one day towards the end of the course, I think it was day 8, I had gone off to sit in the woods for a bit to get some space from the group and suddenly heard this squeal of a scream from nearby… I looked over in the direction of the scream and I saw a girl running down the stairs… I recognized her from class, but had not previously “connected” with her… She saw me sitting in the clearing and came running towards me with tears in her eyes, and ran straight into my arms for a huge hug… The monkey’s had cornered her on the stairs and charged at her and she was really scared… I, of course, broke the silence and asked if she was ok and she said yes, but she was really scared and thanked me profusely for the hug and for saving her… She didn’t know I was the one who really needed the hug and that she saved me in that moment… We collected some rocks to defend ourselves against the monkeys and headed back up the stairs, arm in arm, and into the gompa we went for meditation #7 for the day…. Really, another meditation? I’m soooo freakin’ exhausted right now…
So, anyway, I’ll gather my thoughts over the next several days and will attempt to share the experience with you as best I can. I am happy to report though, that I have now become proficient in the use of the very Indian and lovely, squat toilets… Just thought you would like to know 🙂 Ha!
Oh, and I really really appreciate all the blog comments and emails I got from all of you while I was “on the inside” LOL. It was so amazing to see correspondence from all my peeps after the long 10 days away from you…
More soon lovelies…. xoxo
Wow- I cant even imagine the intensity of this. An amazing learning experience!
Laughter, smiles, giving and receiving hugs, gathering rocks, attacking a common enemy (e.g., monkeys) … all good things! More sure to follow.
Glad your back to talking 🙂
Can’t wait to hear the rest!
Eryn, I am loving your blog and am filled with admiration bot the way you express yourself. I feel like I am having a visit with. am looking forward to your describing your experience of silence. It must be emotional if you are exhausted. Keep up the good work, Girl. Love you, Cindy
Thanks Cindy… So glad you are enjoying the blog… I think of you often when I’m out and about and wonder if it’s the same as it was when you were out here… Love you… xo
Hi Eryn, Fawni here. I got your blog connection from Chris. Very happy to hear about your journey. I read Cave in the Snow about 14 or 15 years ago while living in Colorado after living in India. I loved it! I am so eager to hear more of your travels. Lots of wonderful things you are processing. I hear you on all levels. I am heading to India in June. My daughter has been in India for a few months and has been in Manali for the last month to escape the heat. I am very happy to hear how well you are doing. Safe travels. Love
Hi there Fawni… So nice to hear from you… Yes, I’m sure we would have lots to talk about if the opportunity ever presented itself… I am enjoying my time out here in the world, more specifically, INdia… There’s something really amazing about this place… I do have to move on now to meet up with some other people out there in the world, but will be back here for sure!
I hope INdia is agreeing with your daughter… If I didn’t already have a flight booked, I’d rearrange and go meet up with her in Manali.. Must not be meant to be though right now…
Hope you are doing well… thanks for checking in on me and reading my blog – always interesting things happening, it seems..
Take care my friend… xo