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WARNING!! WARNING!! – Hi mush factor comin’ up…  Proceed with caution…

Well, people, I had planned my next post to tell you about the day I saw the Dalai Lama and my recent paragliding adventure… But I have to tell you – today, I’m leaving north India on a bus down to Delhi and will stay there Friday night and then move on to Sri Lanka Saturday for a quick jaunt pre Bali.  I considered taking the local bus just for the experience, but decided against it and went for the luxury bus with AC and wifi instead so I could post to my blog.  Wuss….  However, wifi is soooo bad, it’ll probably take me 6 of the 12 hour bus ride to get this posted… Patience, Eryn…  You’re on a bus going through the mountains in north India – patience…  Anyhow, I’m feeling so overwhelmed with emotion about leaving, I just had to share what I was going through and go ahead and post what I had intended for Siggy on the 5th… (Update: I tried for 6 of the 12 hours to upload pictures and post this, but it didn’t work – epic wifi fail on the bus!!! Grrrr..  Anyhow, now it’s Saturday and I’m waiting for my flight to Sri Lanka so this should work…)(Update #2: Spent two hours in the Delhi airport trying to post – second epic wifi fail… Grrrrr… Now I’m in Sri Lanka at my hotel – crossed fingers)

I’ll also add that I’ve just had a great day and a half in New Delhi with another friend that I know from Tushita, Rahul… He has family in Delhi and I visited with he and his sister and we took in a few sites and had some great times…  I am eternally grateful for his hospitality and the great lengths he went to, to make sure I had a positive experience while in Delhi (otherwise, it is serious high pucker factor here!! LOL) Rahul – Thank you my friend… We will meet again…

So, back to soul sister stuff – Siggy and I said goodbye this past Saturday – she went into her 10 days of silence at Tushita and we knew I’d be gone when she got out… Whew, that was E.M.O.T.I.O.N.A.L!! Mr. Handsome went into Vipassana today, (a more intense 10 days of silence – no discussion hour and full meditations all day long for all 10 days) so we said our goodbyes. And I already said goodbye to my friends Georges, Lisa, Jim and Sah, along with Eric and Archanna – All emotional goodbyes today, but it has just hit me now that I’m on the bus all alone… No Siggy to laugh with, no good friends to have chai with… These people have become like family to me and now I’m leaving them.

I’m a little caught off guard at how the McCleod Ganj area of Dharamsala, where I’ve been since April 3rd, has felt like more of a home town to me than anywhere I’ve lived since 1985… Everywhere I go I know people – and they’re good friends, not random acquaintances or business colleagues, they’re really great friends who I have a deep soul connection with that I know will last a lifetime… Wow, I have somehow missed this level of connection for many of my years in the states (with a handful of dear friend exceptions, of course)  I’m thinking it’s because I moved so much… Yeah, maybe that’s it… Anyhow, it’s different here – it just feels like home… Like I’d been lost all these years, and now found… Strange but true…

Some of these new friends, I plan to visit in their home towns as I travel – places like Switzerland and Germany to name a few… But, some, I know the likelihood is slim that our paths will cross again, and that is the sad truth… There’s even one good friend that has decided to stay and live here on a more semi permanent basis, and I can’t lie, if I didn’t have plans already to meet up with friends in other countries, I would certainly do the same…

I was shocked at how many people (at least a dozen) I met and befriended that have all their stuff in storage and have quit their jobs and left their countries for extended periods like I have… Something is happening here, people – a movement… something big… I suppose we’re all seeking something more… knowledge, spirituality, each other, truth, community, meaningful relationships, the feeling of home… Maybe it’s just a soul connection with someone, I don’t know…  I heard several people refer to themselves as the “black sheep” of their lives back home – maybe all of us who are floating around out here in the world are the black sheep, and we’ve finally found our flock…

I don’t want to go off on a tangent, but don’t you think we’re all looking for a real connection?  I think at the route of it, that’s what’s missing… I mean, look at us, we have facebook, email, free long distance, texting – so many forms of communication, but at the end of the day, we’re more disconnected from real meaningful relationships and people seem to be overall less happy than ever.  Am I right?  I mean, I know I’m not the only one, I’ve seen many books written on this subject…  There are many theories I’ve heard of as to why this is happening… Obviously there’s the materialistic culture that brainwashes us to buy, buy, buy, which equals, work, work, work, which then equals less, less, less quality time with the people we love…  Some theorists take it all the way back to the automotive era – once people had their own transportation, they started living further apart and jobs were further away and the sense of community and family faded away… Eryn, you’re getting way too deep here… even the ocean has a shore, move it along… I digress…

Anyhow, I guess it’s just hitting me now, that I haven’t really been alone since I’ve been in India. Siggy came to me on my birthday, which was only 5 days after I’d arrived in India, and we’ve been together, or at least had easy access to each other, ever since. So, it’s a sad day for me as I say my goodbyes to dear friends and the place I’ve called home for a month.

The last day Siggy and I spent together, she read me a poem that she wrote for me… What??? A poem for me – OMG are you freakin’ kidding me???  Waterworks waterworks!!!  Then she said, “In learning to love you, I learned to love myself.” She somehow took the exact words right out of my brain… That’s some freaky soul sister telepathy right there… LOL… While she’s been in her 10 days of silence, I’ve had some time to reflect on the friendship, and felt compelled to write something in response to her poem…  So, here you get her poem to me, and then mine to her… She’s still in class, so she won’t see it until May 5th

The friendship we’ve formed over this short time is hard to fully explain… So I won’t even try… All there is, is love…  Damn Eryn, this is some sappy shit… All this love and still no lesbian lingerie pillow fight parties…. Bahahahahahaha 🙂

For Eryn – From Siggy

A women with hair as light as feathers in the wind
Blessed my presence one spring day,
She smiled into my eyes
Welcoming me home
And into her heart I would stay.

Time spent together rolled into weeks,
We shared our life on the Indian road.
Rishikesh passed with long walks through town
Reminiscing moments from years gone
Philosophizing Mooji and sense of self
The simple turning phrase of loving too much
Our attachments to others a touch of concern
Yet our hearts both big and open
Know much more.

Together we molded future plans…
A trek to Nepal,
Jungle safaris in Sri Lanka,
Nomadic lives with wondering Mongolian gypsies,
An Ireland family detective mystery,
United States roadtrip with Griffy Magoo,
Idyllic Thailand writers’ retreats…
There’s so much to freaking do
So give me your passport
I’ll buy the ticket…

Yet before we knew it we reached a fork in the road
All we could do is take one last walk
On a Tibetan flagged trail
And hug out each moment.
I kiss you goodbye sister
And smile with a tear in each eye
I will see you again
We’ll laugh and sing
Larger than life you and I
Larger than the sum of each day passed
Forever we will be.

 

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For Siggy – From Eryn

Last day together, we hike a waterfall,
Two close friends, we say goodbye…
A deep meditation on a mountainside,
My soul sister starts to cry…

Only 37 days I’ve known you my love,
Birthday gift from the universe, my Aussie…
No walls, no boundaries, no blocks, no borders,
Found much strength inside you – inside me…

Bus rides and walks, Carpe Diem wisdom,
Rishikesh, Dharamsala, we faced fears…
Impermanence, attachment and life’s complexities,
Together we shed many tears…

From 15 to 36 I sought love from a man,
Career and past loves, prove incomplete…
Never dreamt would be you, who would fill my heart,
In these foreign and dirty Indian streets…

Two mirrors we stand, reflecting one other,
We separate now, stronger women…
We go out into the world better versions of ourselves,
Brighter lights to shine in the space we live in…

The answers, I know are inside of you,
As I know they are inside of me…
But we can always find refuge in the space between us,
As our futures unfold, just let go – let be…

My sad bitchy resting face, quickly turns to a smile,
When I think of our time spent together…
And I know we’ll laugh again very soon my mo mo,
No matter the miles between us, we’re forever…

Your spirit really brought me back to life my dear friend,
The dying flower from times past blooms again…
You couldn’t possibly in full depth, understand your impact,
But I finally see the beginning, not the end…

In learning to love you, I learned to love myself,
My eternal gratitude spills out – overflows…
And I know we’ll meet again on some strange foreign soil,
The where, the when and the why, only God knows…
 

 

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